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And here I was, all set to post something positive.

August 3, 2012

Wake up. Put on shoes.
Walk to front door. Find screwdriver, also known as doorknob. Use screwdriver to open broken storm door to get outside.

Walk to outhouse, because while Tom fixed the leak in the pipe he thought was preventing us from using the toilet, he discovered another. Pray that the big spider in the corner of the outhouse, isn’t in the corner this morning.

Upon discovering that the big spider in the corner, isn’t in the corner this morning, get nervous about where he or she might be. Resolve to use outhouse quickly.

Use hand sanitizer.

Find screwdriver, also known as doorknob. Use screwdriver to open broken storm door to get back inside.

Walk over to open Jed and Smooch’s cage to let them outside to explore. (Their outdoor cat house is the next project on the list, after finishing the kitchen. They wish we’d hurry.)

En route, bash head on low-hanging light fixture.

Let aforementioned two cats outside, not before tripping over remaining three.

Walk to stove to make coffee.
Grab percolator.

Toss Newman off the counter.

Walk to garbage, dump yesterday’s coffee grounds.
Consider rinsing percolator, remember that you don’t have running water.

Toss Newman off the counter.
Toss Lionel off the counter.

Walk to shelf lined with 2.5 gallon jugs of water to fill percolator.

En route, bash head on low-hanging light fixture.

Fill percolator, walk back to stove.

En route, bash head on low-hanging light fixture.

Toss Newman off the counter.
Toss Marvin off the counter.
Toss Lionel off the counter.
Toss Newman off the counter.

Light candle lighter, turn stove to “light” while chuckling at the irony of it all.
Light stove.

Fill percolator basket with coffee grounds, cover, place on stove.

Toss Newman off the counter.

While coffee percolates, scoop litter boxes.
En route, bash head on low-hanging light fixture. Trip over Lionel.

Use hand sanitizer.

While sanitizing, hear the unmistakable scratching of a cat using the freshly scooped litter box. Brace yourself as another little part of you dies.

Hear percolator boil over, putting out your flame. Reach for lighter and repeat stove lighting process.

Toss Newman off the counter.
Toss Newman off the counter.
Toss Newman off the counter.

Find screwdriver, also known as doorknob. Use screwdriver to open storm door, go outside. Walk around with husband, dog, and cats. Watch cats attempt to catch bird and fail.

Become irritated with deer fly circling head. Make husband kill deer fly. Attract another deer fly. Give up.

Find screwdriver, also known as doorknob. Use screwdriver to open broken storm door, go back inside.

Toss Newman off the counter.

Dig through five yet-unpacked boxes to find larger coffee mugs than those already unpacked.
En route to the last box, bash head on low-hanging light fixture.

Trip over Lionel.

Give up, sit down with laptop.

Sulk, but quietly rejoice as husband feeds cats and pours coffee.

Good morning?

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Sue permalink
    August 3, 2012 12:27 pm

    Sounds like I should send you a helmet!

  2. Kim Walton permalink
    August 3, 2012 1:43 pm

    It’s a good morning for me, sitting here drinking my freshly brewed coffee in the recliner in my air conditioned livingroom! 🙂 I give you all the credit in the world. You may be struggling, but you are doing it with humor and grace. I have been plenty proud of you for the things that you have accomplished, but now I am in complete awe of you. I thank you so much for this blog and the vivid picture you paint with your words. Now where’s my moose picture?

    • erinlobster permalink
      August 9, 2012 2:59 am

      As soon as I see a moose, you’ll get a picture – trust me, I’ll be so excited I’ll probably fill a memory card!

  3. Melissa Rycroft permalink
    August 4, 2012 2:13 am

    But…
    It’s such a beautiful light fixture! Those faux wagon wheels are going to be back in fashion… any day now!

  4. Carol permalink
    August 5, 2012 2:29 am

    Your poor head! You are just so funny… Love you.

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